Friday, February 05, 2010

Dream Land...

Miss Harmonee

It's been a late night. One of those nights that you go to bed and can't seem to stop thinking about one thing long enough to go to dream land. I read another "liver mom's" blog today. Her daughter had just received her transplant. The process is so quick after you receive the call that a liver has become available. But the healing process seems so hard, even though her daughter is such a trooper, an amazing inspiration and someone to look up to. This ''liver mom'' has gotten us through more then expected. We met during Harmonee's first days at PCMC, the advice she gave us has worked wonders. I cant imagine how it must be to finally be at the point where your baby isn't waiting for a liver anymore. But its even harder to imagine the person, child, or baby who will give Harmonee her liver if we can not find a live donor for her. The liver mom said how hard it was to think that she hadn't held her baby in a week, but a week ago, another family held their baby for the last time. I cant imagine how hard it must have been for that family to make the decision of their little baby going back to live with god. I wonder if they know just how many lives they saved that day by making that choice. That day the donor gave the gift of life, by giving their own little life back to god.
Harmonee just called me to feed her her midnight bottle. It seems that she eats less and less each week that passes. Each day seems like another little bit of a bottle is sewn out of her feedings. Today, between a 12 hour span, I was able to feed her 10 ounces. We have had better days. I have seen and I have heard of how baby's with liver disease slowly stopping eating as much and a feeding tube will be placed, but before seeing it first hand it has all just been stories. I wish I knew how things were going to turn out for Harmonee, knowing that we are just at the beginning of this whole process seems like a negative way of thinking. I can't wait until Harmonee can know the feeling of ''healthy'' or at least ''healthier'' in her sense. She knows nothing more, and hasn't had the privilege yet of knowing what ''healthy'' really feels like. Or so I am reminded by people who are hearing her story for the first time. Harmonee does know how to fight. Fight for a life she hasn't yet been able to live. But for that life she knows how to appreciate it more then any other "healthy" person who has "lived" knows how to appreciate their own. She will also learn, like so many other children or people who have had a transplant or needs a transplant how to respect her body in a higher sense then any one thought possible. Her body truly is a heaven on earth.

No comments:

Post a Comment