I started this blog so friends and family could track Harmonee's progress through out her disease and transplant. I started the day we found out that her surgery didn't work, and a transplant was inevitable, maybe out of sheer determination to distract my mind away from such ideas. Of course it is nearly impossible to get such things out of your head, especially when it is happening to your own baby. It is difficult to think that I am putting my babies life into anothers hands, trusting them to make the surgery possible, that it will all go well. I don't think any parent with children who are sick and needing a transplant or any other surgery can easily hand over their child for such a serious surgery.
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The worst part about her disease is the unknown. Not knowing exactly when her transplant will come, who will the person be, that will be giving Harmonee her second chance liver, and what things may happen to her before the transplant. I have to admit, before all of this happened I was not a donor. No reasons as to why I wasn't other than the selfish not understanding. The past few weeks since she was first diagnosed has been such a life changing experience there is no way to describe it. Nothing is quite what I had thought of it before. I still don't qualify Harmonee as 'sick'. 'Sick' to me is a contagious cough or flu like symptoms. Realizing that 'sick' is a much wider range of definitions, and that Harmonee is now a definition of 'sick' has brought a broader understanding to the meaning of life for me.